The Boy from Montserrat

Your song like lilt had me in giggles, for reasons unknown

Except to you, 'it was always you, you know' that easy laughter hiding the demons that need slaying at night.

The Boy from Montserrat, I see beauty of lands I’ve never seen when you neared.
Landscapes, hills, hidden things, glorious thrills, picture the scene

'See this one? She's the one I’ll marry!' you told those within ear shot. 'Timbuktu, Calabar, China, we'll go' you said

'We'd have one boy and two girls, one would be all me, the other you - the middle one, we'd toss a coin to choose' I threw

You'd laugh at my crazy notion
'Where do you find these ideas, dear Hausa girl, no coins, we'll eeny meeny em'

My laughter always frenzied you. I did then. Laugh often. My own fears masked.

So when we fought, it felt like the skies would fall,
No love making to rival the full moon, nor an autumn equinox bring
No goose pimple maps kisses bring
Nothing doing
Corridor passing, sleep tossing, pans slamming, doors shut
How dare he?! I'd thought.

I said no...

The Boy from Montserrat, I did love
The Boy from Montserrat, I gave all
The Boy from Montserrat, I ran from
Of The Boy from Montserrat, I couldn't be sure, just then

But, if you asked me today, I may just say yes.

I’m here, I’m here, I’m going again, I’m going again

Nothing is worse than breaking your own heart

I used to think it was bad when some one else did
Then I came across you, and I saw, you did everything
All you thought would make sense, should make sense
Didn't, not to me, nor to you even
Not the kiss before midnight,
The knowing glance, glances, brushes past thighs,
The keen kisses, grazes on my collar bone, that which sends me in to disarray

Usually

Except I’m not here, I can’t reach you, you cling to my hair,
I gasp and realise, not even this,
Not the sweet, desperate, pleading thrusts at the witching hour
When it’s easier to show erzulie into your presence
Would you know how to act, if she came through me to you now?
As we dance in the dark, oshun bearing parting gifts, open circle
My waist beads jiggle, swerve, and swing to this rhythm

This dance known to all, but now lost to us
I’m here, I’m here, I’m going again, I’m going again,
I'm at the abyss, the abyss is coming nearer, it's empty, it seeks me
I’m losing you even though we in this moment are face to face
You are losing me even though in that moment you are in the depths of my inner being
Not my heart, there’s a tiger its walls

The one below

Though from this prayer, she may have found a new home
My knees buckle, I’m here, I’m here, I heard you
I turn to reach for you and find you asleep. Clothed.
I felt it. I shudder, you stir and mumble my name

That night I cry myself to sleep unsure of what I’m feeling
And I know there’s nothing worse than breaking your own heart
I don't know who i am, i don't know who you are either