Tuesday, 19 August 2014
He liked, she...
...He liked. She loved. He ran...
End.
So on Facebook, a friend did a challenge to people to write a story in six words. This is what i came with.
Funnily enough, I'm not the only one to have experienced anything like this.
Love's a funny ole thing, ain't it?
Friday, 15 August 2014
The Boy from Montserrat
Your song like lilt had me in giggles, for reasons unknown
Except to you, 'it was always you, you know' that easy laughter hiding the demons that need slaying at night.
The Boy from Montserrat, I see beauty of lands I’ve never seen when you neared.
Landscapes, hills, hidden things, glorious thrills, picture the scene
'See this one? She's the one I’ll marry!' you told those within ear shot. 'Timbuktu, Calabar, China, we'll go' you said
'We'd have one boy and two girls, one would be all me, the other you - the middle one, we'd toss a coin to choose' I threw
You'd laugh at my crazy notion
'Where do you find these ideas, dear Hausa girl, no coins, we'll eeny meeny em'
My laughter always frenzied you. I did then. Laugh often. My own fears masked.
So when we fought, it felt like the skies would fall,
No love making to rival the full moon, nor an autumn equinox bring
No goose pimple maps kisses bring
Nothing doing
Corridor passing, sleep tossing, pans slamming, doors shut
How dare he?! I'd thought.
I said no...
The Boy from Montserrat, I did love
The Boy from Montserrat, I gave all
The Boy from Montserrat, I ran from
Of The Boy from Montserrat, I couldn't be sure, just then
But, if you asked me today, I may just say yes.
Except to you, 'it was always you, you know' that easy laughter hiding the demons that need slaying at night.
The Boy from Montserrat, I see beauty of lands I’ve never seen when you neared.
Landscapes, hills, hidden things, glorious thrills, picture the scene
'See this one? She's the one I’ll marry!' you told those within ear shot. 'Timbuktu, Calabar, China, we'll go' you said
'We'd have one boy and two girls, one would be all me, the other you - the middle one, we'd toss a coin to choose' I threw
You'd laugh at my crazy notion
'Where do you find these ideas, dear Hausa girl, no coins, we'll eeny meeny em'
My laughter always frenzied you. I did then. Laugh often. My own fears masked.
So when we fought, it felt like the skies would fall,
No love making to rival the full moon, nor an autumn equinox bring
No goose pimple maps kisses bring
Nothing doing
Corridor passing, sleep tossing, pans slamming, doors shut
How dare he?! I'd thought.
I said no...
The Boy from Montserrat, I did love
The Boy from Montserrat, I gave all
The Boy from Montserrat, I ran from
Of The Boy from Montserrat, I couldn't be sure, just then
But, if you asked me today, I may just say yes.
Tuesday, 15 July 2014
In your silence, I’ve heard you
Your silence drags
Across my spirit, my heart and my body
At slow pace, in parts as sharp as lightning and drops of flame
I miss you
I know, I know
They told me to forget you
I’m working on it, I’m working on it
It’s easier said than done
When you torment my dreams
And in my waking hours
I feel like I’m in a day dream
Until it’s at that hour, the witching one
And I reach to touch for you
And I realise, it’s just a nightmare
A mirage, you weren’t really there
Your silence is loud, it’s clear
It’s clear like a sun lit day
As loud as the beat of my heart
In your silence, I’ve heard you
In your silence this disquiet grew under
I wonder. What was it that happened?
I suppose that’s rhetoric really
Because um – I should have known
That that fuck was a fluke
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Why I want you
When I know you don’t want me for certain
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Why you sought me out to begin with
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Do you miss me?
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Does he even care?
I’m lay here and I know
All of the answers
No
Why I ask I don’t know
I suppose to answer what I’ve posed to me
Questions to myself
They say I should forget you
And I’m working on this
They say I should forget you
I’m not sure where to begin
They say I should forget you
But, each time I fall asleep, I see you
They say I should forget you
But, my waking hours are like a nightmare
They say I should forget you
I think they are right
They say I should forget you
And as Ogun bears witness
I will someday soon
Someday soon, this will be a distant memory
Someday soon
I won’t wake up and want to reach for you
Someday soon, you won’t haunt my dreams
Someday soon, I won’t cry like yesterday
Someday soon
I wish I could say I hate you, I don’t
I just miss you
I miss the sound of your laughter
I miss our talks about all and nothing
I miss the hug unexpected, welcomed and returned
I miss your kisses down my spine
I miss your fingers tracing goose pimpled maps
Across every single part of me
I miss your frown whilst deep in thought
I miss your smile
I miss your intensity of spirit
I miss your playfulness
I miss your seriousness too
And I know you won’t be back
Frankly, I doubt I want you back
No, not really
And still, I miss you
They said I should forget you
I know they are right
They said I should forget you
I’m trying
They said I should forget you
I know they are right
They said I should forget you
I’m working on it, I’m working on it
This silence
Like nail dragging at snail speed
Across the entirety of me
Boulder like silence, trying to fit into my chest
That hurts the most
And I heard you, in your silence
I’ve heard you
It’s over.
Across my spirit, my heart and my body
At slow pace, in parts as sharp as lightning and drops of flame
I miss you
I know, I know
They told me to forget you
I’m working on it, I’m working on it
It’s easier said than done
When you torment my dreams
And in my waking hours
I feel like I’m in a day dream
Until it’s at that hour, the witching one
And I reach to touch for you
And I realise, it’s just a nightmare
A mirage, you weren’t really there
Your silence is loud, it’s clear
It’s clear like a sun lit day
As loud as the beat of my heart
In your silence, I’ve heard you
In your silence this disquiet grew under
I wonder. What was it that happened?
I suppose that’s rhetoric really
Because um – I should have known
That that fuck was a fluke
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Why I want you
When I know you don’t want me for certain
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Why you sought me out to begin with
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Do you miss me?
I’m lay here and I’m wondering
Does he even care?
I’m lay here and I know
All of the answers
No
Why I ask I don’t know
I suppose to answer what I’ve posed to me
Questions to myself
They say I should forget you
And I’m working on this
They say I should forget you
I’m not sure where to begin
They say I should forget you
But, each time I fall asleep, I see you
They say I should forget you
But, my waking hours are like a nightmare
They say I should forget you
I think they are right
They say I should forget you
And as Ogun bears witness
I will someday soon
Someday soon, this will be a distant memory
Someday soon
I won’t wake up and want to reach for you
Someday soon, you won’t haunt my dreams
Someday soon, I won’t cry like yesterday
Someday soon
I wish I could say I hate you, I don’t
I just miss you
I miss the sound of your laughter
I miss our talks about all and nothing
I miss the hug unexpected, welcomed and returned
I miss your kisses down my spine
I miss your fingers tracing goose pimpled maps
Across every single part of me
I miss your frown whilst deep in thought
I miss your smile
I miss your intensity of spirit
I miss your playfulness
I miss your seriousness too
And I know you won’t be back
Frankly, I doubt I want you back
No, not really
And still, I miss you
They said I should forget you
I know they are right
They said I should forget you
I’m trying
They said I should forget you
I know they are right
They said I should forget you
I’m working on it, I’m working on it
This silence
Like nail dragging at snail speed
Across the entirety of me
Boulder like silence, trying to fit into my chest
That hurts the most
And I heard you, in your silence
I’ve heard you
It’s over.
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Your stomach is his
Mum - it's amusing and amazing to me, you are very much like your father
Me - really? How
Her - Well, your stature is similar to his, see that flat curve of your stomach? That looks like it holds nothing and everything? That's his
Me - well, what's yours in me?
Her - Your resilience.
There's silence.
Me - Well, well, i meant physical ma.
Her - i know what you meant. Your humour is his too. All the rest are me.
I was pretty sure my sardonic humour was my mother's. She'd deny this of course, who wants to be responsible for a child that can joke about death? Or like now, say much with so little. I said nothing all the same.
I cock my head to the side and guffaw, my empty flat stomach rising and falling as i imagine this. This unequal split of parts. I always knew i had many parts of my father. Duh you might think!
I thought of my great grand aunt who'd in turn praise the him she saw in me, and insult the him in me that was incorrect to her. Like, that streak of stubborness, she wanted to wane out. Especially, when my no was final. And aged 13, i said no in many ways. I silently rebelled, when i did the dishes but left the tea spoon, or when i feigned sleep so i could write another letter to my mother after lights out. The long limbs that could reach the taller book shelf, the biscuit tin behind the glass cabinet. The gait of kpekpeye she'd say in edo. They'd laugh. I'd look askance, even then, less so now. I understood better. They wanted me to understand. Although, i wasn't sure if i was a duckling in the good or bad way.
Years before that, an aunt would explain in the queen's english, precisely why i was a bastard. I'm aged 8 and confused. Afterall, I saw my father the day before. What did she know anyway. Except, according to the dictionary i'd find she was correct. But, why did she smile when she told me this? She seemed to relish my attempt to reject that label. So she had repeated again ' and this is why you are what a bastard is' she was 13 or 14. She closed the dictionary with the finality of a judge sentencing me to life imprisonment.
I'd now look at these arms, those running legs. My eyes narrowing. To myself i'd say 'oni ma mean enwin' (that doesn't mean anything)
She was talking again
Mum - You know, i think you have one of his ways of thinking too.
Me - does he over analyse too?
Mum - Not always, then again neither do you. I meant your clear logic
Me - it hasn't always served me well.
Mum - No, not always. Sometimes, you must listen, damwe hudun we (listen to your mind)
Me - I tried, ekhor mwen zuo ugbenso (my heart is mostly stupid)
Her - I know, that's why i said your gut or your mind. At the very least rhie ekhor wey le le gbe (take your heart with mind)
I wondered silently, who's that was. Whose heart i inherited. I'm sure that was neither, that was all me.
Neither of us say anything for a moment.
Me - really? How
Her - Well, your stature is similar to his, see that flat curve of your stomach? That looks like it holds nothing and everything? That's his
Me - well, what's yours in me?
Her - Your resilience.
There's silence.
Me - Well, well, i meant physical ma.
Her - i know what you meant. Your humour is his too. All the rest are me.
I was pretty sure my sardonic humour was my mother's. She'd deny this of course, who wants to be responsible for a child that can joke about death? Or like now, say much with so little. I said nothing all the same.
I cock my head to the side and guffaw, my empty flat stomach rising and falling as i imagine this. This unequal split of parts. I always knew i had many parts of my father. Duh you might think!
I thought of my great grand aunt who'd in turn praise the him she saw in me, and insult the him in me that was incorrect to her. Like, that streak of stubborness, she wanted to wane out. Especially, when my no was final. And aged 13, i said no in many ways. I silently rebelled, when i did the dishes but left the tea spoon, or when i feigned sleep so i could write another letter to my mother after lights out. The long limbs that could reach the taller book shelf, the biscuit tin behind the glass cabinet. The gait of kpekpeye she'd say in edo. They'd laugh. I'd look askance, even then, less so now. I understood better. They wanted me to understand. Although, i wasn't sure if i was a duckling in the good or bad way.
Years before that, an aunt would explain in the queen's english, precisely why i was a bastard. I'm aged 8 and confused. Afterall, I saw my father the day before. What did she know anyway. Except, according to the dictionary i'd find she was correct. But, why did she smile when she told me this? She seemed to relish my attempt to reject that label. So she had repeated again ' and this is why you are what a bastard is' she was 13 or 14. She closed the dictionary with the finality of a judge sentencing me to life imprisonment.
I'd now look at these arms, those running legs. My eyes narrowing. To myself i'd say 'oni ma mean enwin' (that doesn't mean anything)
She was talking again
Mum - You know, i think you have one of his ways of thinking too.
Me - does he over analyse too?
Mum - Not always, then again neither do you. I meant your clear logic
Me - it hasn't always served me well.
Mum - No, not always. Sometimes, you must listen, damwe hudun we (listen to your mind)
Me - I tried, ekhor mwen zuo ugbenso (my heart is mostly stupid)
Her - I know, that's why i said your gut or your mind. At the very least rhie ekhor wey le le gbe (take your heart with mind)
I wondered silently, who's that was. Whose heart i inherited. I'm sure that was neither, that was all me.
Neither of us say anything for a moment.
Thursday, 29 May 2014
ODE TO THE CHEATING BOYFRIEND - Dec 07
I don't want your tongue in ma c***
save it for hers
Your pleasures bring much pain
with nothing to gain
why i left it so long
beggars belief
A day's too long
let alone over two hundred
The relief, I've received
Since i relieved maself
From your reach
Can't be illustrated
Unlike your web of lies and untruths
The width of the skies
So wrong.So long
To think of it now
Plain vexes my spirit
"i'm at home with you,give me time"
Save your d*** for her please
It ain't mine to s*** or f***
Nor your lips mine to kiss
A bit dissed, i hiss
Just couldn't see
You for all you are
Manipulating d***
Stupid ought to be ma name
Like the old man searching
For his glasses
Where there's light
Rather where he lost it.
Refused to see.
Asked you once before
Why couldn't you?
Tell it like it is?
"I just wanna f*** you"
See?Least i'd know
Exactly what the score is.
don't you think?
Then again.
save it for hers
Your pleasures bring much pain
with nothing to gain
why i left it so long
beggars belief
A day's too long
let alone over two hundred
The relief, I've received
Since i relieved maself
From your reach
Can't be illustrated
Unlike your web of lies and untruths
The width of the skies
So wrong.So long
To think of it now
Plain vexes my spirit
"i'm at home with you,give me time"
Save your d*** for her please
It ain't mine to s*** or f***
Nor your lips mine to kiss
A bit dissed, i hiss
Just couldn't see
You for all you are
Manipulating d***
Stupid ought to be ma name
Like the old man searching
For his glasses
Where there's light
Rather where he lost it.
Refused to see.
Asked you once before
Why couldn't you?
Tell it like it is?
"I just wanna f*** you"
See?Least i'd know
Exactly what the score is.
don't you think?
Then again.
Screw being 'strong' for today
If i wanted to be strong today
I’d have called a doctor, not you
I’m tired of being told
‘stay strong’ ‘be strong’ ‘you're strong’ bla bla bla
What is it about this black girl’s pain
That turns your eyes awry
Some friend you are
To tell me to anchor, with 'strength' within, i already did that first!
When i heard, Olokun whispering, calling, a storm brewing,
How can you spout such tripe
When, all i want to do is follow Yemoja
To the base of the river beds
The ocean floors
To see what serene feels like
For just a moment of respite
‘i'm sorry to hear’ some say
Though, i'm almost certain, NOT! Follows
In the smirk and wry smile
Eye corners crinkled with mischief
As if to say 'oh well, you needed that lesson' glee is barely hidden
Pure disdain
I’m sad, i’m tired, i’m angry, i’m in flight, i’m processing, i'm floating
In this very dark moment, I've seen the brightest light sparks
Oh! That’s me? When i come back? To the middle, in sync again, maybe not
I don’t want to be strong, not merely
Not right now, at least not how you define it
Stoic, unmoving, unmoveable, touche indeed
As if my hurting disgusts you
I know you didn't want to know, no not really
I wouldn't tell ordinarily
Not today,
Today i went to dig further
Today you asked how i was
I told you ‘ekk u ekk’
You respond like everyone else
‘stay strong’ 'you've been so strong before'
Well, i’m tired of being this ‘strong’ whatever it means
I don’t want to ‘hang on’
Listen, can you tell me
Why my hurting thing
Makes you wanna holler?
Am i not allowed this human process
Of seeking, of self, of healing, of recovery
How does one stay strong
Without first healing
How do i heal without testimony
How can i testify
If you seek to silence me
With a gagging band aid of ‘be strong’
And you wonder why,
Some days, i’ll still smile
Through the murky strains of tears and fears
Burrowing just beneath
Oya has come again with change now
Not tomorrow though,
Tomorrow when you will have asked
How are you?
Not feeling very strong i’ll tell you as the laughter rises
Just as well, i feel free and just perfect
With being
A living woman
I’d have called a doctor, not you
I’m tired of being told
‘stay strong’ ‘be strong’ ‘you're strong’ bla bla bla
What is it about this black girl’s pain
That turns your eyes awry
Some friend you are
To tell me to anchor, with 'strength' within, i already did that first!
When i heard, Olokun whispering, calling, a storm brewing,
How can you spout such tripe
When, all i want to do is follow Yemoja
To the base of the river beds
The ocean floors
To see what serene feels like
For just a moment of respite
‘i'm sorry to hear’ some say
Though, i'm almost certain, NOT! Follows
In the smirk and wry smile
Eye corners crinkled with mischief
As if to say 'oh well, you needed that lesson' glee is barely hidden
Pure disdain
I’m sad, i’m tired, i’m angry, i’m in flight, i’m processing, i'm floating
In this very dark moment, I've seen the brightest light sparks
Oh! That’s me? When i come back? To the middle, in sync again, maybe not
I don’t want to be strong, not merely
Not right now, at least not how you define it
Stoic, unmoving, unmoveable, touche indeed
As if my hurting disgusts you
I know you didn't want to know, no not really
I wouldn't tell ordinarily
Not today,
Today i went to dig further
Today you asked how i was
I told you ‘ekk u ekk’
You respond like everyone else
‘stay strong’ 'you've been so strong before'
Well, i’m tired of being this ‘strong’ whatever it means
I don’t want to ‘hang on’
Listen, can you tell me
Why my hurting thing
Makes you wanna holler?
Am i not allowed this human process
Of seeking, of self, of healing, of recovery
How does one stay strong
Without first healing
How do i heal without testimony
How can i testify
If you seek to silence me
With a gagging band aid of ‘be strong’
And you wonder why,
Some days, i’ll still smile
Through the murky strains of tears and fears
Burrowing just beneath
Oya has come again with change now
Not tomorrow though,
Tomorrow when you will have asked
How are you?
Not feeling very strong i’ll tell you as the laughter rises
Just as well, i feel free and just perfect
With being
A living woman
Friday, 14 March 2014
I’m here, I’m here, I’m going again, I’m going again
Nothing is worse than breaking your own heart
I used to think it was bad when some one else did
Then I came across you, and I saw, you did everything
All you thought would make sense, should make sense
Didn't, not to me, nor to you even
Not the kiss before midnight,
The knowing glance, glances, brushes past thighs,
The keen kisses, grazes on my collar bone, that which sends me in to disarray
Usually
Except I’m not here, I can’t reach you, you cling to my hair,
I gasp and realise, not even this,
Not the sweet, desperate, pleading thrusts at the witching hour
When it’s easier to show erzulie into your presence
Would you know how to act, if she came through me to you now?
As we dance in the dark, oshun bearing parting gifts, open circle
My waist beads jiggle, swerve, and swing to this rhythm
This dance known to all, but now lost to us
I’m here, I’m here, I’m going again, I’m going again,
I'm at the abyss, the abyss is coming nearer, it's empty, it seeks me
I’m losing you even though we in this moment are face to face
You are losing me even though in that moment you are in the depths of my inner being
Not my heart, there’s a tiger its walls
The one below
Though from this prayer, she may have found a new home
My knees buckle, I’m here, I’m here, I heard you
I turn to reach for you and find you asleep. Clothed.
I felt it. I shudder, you stir and mumble my name
That night I cry myself to sleep unsure of what I’m feeling
And I know there’s nothing worse than breaking your own heart
I don't know who i am, i don't know who you are either
I used to think it was bad when some one else did
Then I came across you, and I saw, you did everything
All you thought would make sense, should make sense
Didn't, not to me, nor to you even
Not the kiss before midnight,
The knowing glance, glances, brushes past thighs,
The keen kisses, grazes on my collar bone, that which sends me in to disarray
Usually
Except I’m not here, I can’t reach you, you cling to my hair,
I gasp and realise, not even this,
Not the sweet, desperate, pleading thrusts at the witching hour
When it’s easier to show erzulie into your presence
Would you know how to act, if she came through me to you now?
As we dance in the dark, oshun bearing parting gifts, open circle
My waist beads jiggle, swerve, and swing to this rhythm
This dance known to all, but now lost to us
I’m here, I’m here, I’m going again, I’m going again,
I'm at the abyss, the abyss is coming nearer, it's empty, it seeks me
I’m losing you even though we in this moment are face to face
You are losing me even though in that moment you are in the depths of my inner being
Not my heart, there’s a tiger its walls
The one below
Though from this prayer, she may have found a new home
My knees buckle, I’m here, I’m here, I heard you
I turn to reach for you and find you asleep. Clothed.
I felt it. I shudder, you stir and mumble my name
That night I cry myself to sleep unsure of what I’m feeling
And I know there’s nothing worse than breaking your own heart
I don't know who i am, i don't know who you are either
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
It doesn't pour
Sometime it doesn't pour after it rains,
Sometimes there is a flood, formed after drops have dripped into a space
Stagnant and putrid, a place filled with pain beyond relief
Relief which is needed for ease to return
The ease of a child, maybe, 4 or 7
As yet, unperturbed by life's funny cruelties
Sometimes, it is not so bleak,
So wariness inducing.
It feels weightless, there and not there.
Like the shadow i might only depart in death
I might flee in the next moment
There's an ache in my bones, a tiredness sleep won't fix
Not a nap, nor a night's slumber
For each moment i awake in this plane, another drop increases the flood
What do i do? Where shall i go? Who will hear my cry?
Some have listened to my laughter
They miss the cue where my anguish follows
Distracted now by my next pun line, I feel a clown some days
It doesn't always pour when it rains
But, by shango, when the flood increases, I pause
It feels raw, akin a boiling pus, so ripe, so old, so old, so yellow, so new
This pain. Will you burst in to?
To free me.
Sometimes there is a flood, formed after drops have dripped into a space
Stagnant and putrid, a place filled with pain beyond relief
Relief which is needed for ease to return
The ease of a child, maybe, 4 or 7
As yet, unperturbed by life's funny cruelties
Sometimes, it is not so bleak,
So wariness inducing.
It feels weightless, there and not there.
Like the shadow i might only depart in death
I might flee in the next moment
There's an ache in my bones, a tiredness sleep won't fix
Not a nap, nor a night's slumber
For each moment i awake in this plane, another drop increases the flood
What do i do? Where shall i go? Who will hear my cry?
Some have listened to my laughter
They miss the cue where my anguish follows
Distracted now by my next pun line, I feel a clown some days
It doesn't always pour when it rains
But, by shango, when the flood increases, I pause
It feels raw, akin a boiling pus, so ripe, so old, so old, so yellow, so new
This pain. Will you burst in to?
To free me.
Thursday, 10 October 2013
Untitled
Oya told him to tell me.
I didn't listen, he said she said.
She threw her back and laughed and laughed, she just knew i'd be back in tears no less, wishing time could reverse.
'Not in these times' he said she said, 'look clearly for the next test thrown, or you will repeat it!'
Remember lamide from your school.
I shuddered wide eyed.
Lamide...no...she wouldn't
She might, she might not...i'm not so sure now.
I didn't listen, he said she said.
She threw her back and laughed and laughed, she just knew i'd be back in tears no less, wishing time could reverse.
'Not in these times' he said she said, 'look clearly for the next test thrown, or you will repeat it!'
Remember lamide from your school.
I shuddered wide eyed.
Lamide...no...she wouldn't
She might, she might not...i'm not so sure now.
Monday, 23 September 2013
3 CAKES - A personal new year, same but very different...It is lengthy! What? It's my birthday!
I was about to express my shock that the girls would be late.
The 'plan' was for us to have a meal, to do with the wedding. Girlfriend S gets married in a week.
I was dressed up as it was going to be me my birthday celebration. Well the pub part anyway. Before I get to the shock of the day. Let's go to the morning. I and a group of other friends, arranged by V, went laser tagging. Like paintballing, minus the pain. No bruised skins thank you very much. I am way too old for that!
So...
SATURDAY 21ST MORNING
I pack some clothes and shoes, I'm smiling because, well just because. It's my birthday soon, as in twelve hours soon! And it is going to be a great day.
By 10.30 am, I have left the house, the beauty of London and its travel system is that, one never knows what kind of day it will be.
Now that I live on the District line, it feels like lottery. Win if the trains are fully running, almost loose if not. I win today!
I got to North Greenwich quickly. I was over half an hour early. Ah well, walked around and wondered what changes tomorrow. Will I feel some magic dust on my forehead, or will I turn in to some swan lol. As I got there, a friend was already there with her sister. Soon two more ladies, then a male friend. We had to get to the Laser arena as our time set.
I was getting excited now! Is this how army folks feel? I wondered silently. All week it'd rained mostly. Today (Saturday) felt warm in comparison, and mostly it was dry too! Yay British weather.
We had two people unable to make it, so there were ten in total. We got in the friends cars (two total), and headed there ASAP. Upon arrival, after fooling around taking pictures, changed in to some horrible looking jumpsuit. Ah well, just as well this is not lfw. Or we'd be stoned with water filled balloons for sure. We got briefed, split in to two teams. Green team vs. Red team. I was with the latter.
ROUND ONE - Lasted about 15 - 20 minutes. Though it felt longer. Basically, you shoot the light of the opposite team. If hit, the light goes white on your body armour. Yes, I got hit a fair amount of times. Just as well I never joined the armer eh. I did get some hits in though!
My team won this round over all.
ROUND TWO - There were some late comers who were not part of our group but could play too. We acquired some smart kids and their parents split equally. So round two was the same, get white lights on the opposite team as much as possible. Again Green won out this round. I know we were brilliant, much to the chagrin of my friends in the Red team hehehe.
ROUND THREE - Find the flag - This was confusing, but I didn't mind once I heard one of the smart kids had the flag, we had to protect him and make sure the reds did not find his hiding place and keep passing it among the greens. Also, the ammunition in the guns died quicker. Imagine being shot whilst at the charging station, it was hilarious!
ROUND FOUR - Everyone for their selves! This was horrid, I really did not want to have to shoot any greens, but if I didn't I’d wound up shot. Nope! So like a crazed person we all ran charging toward each other. Sweaty, dust covered afro, dirtied knees and shoes. Ah well, I found R and I shot her on instinct and she shot back.
I gasped, she said 'I wasn't going to shoot you, till you shot be first' after that we covered each other till a red took me as a body shield. It was funny and really silly.
My friends are funny and pretty good people.
RESULTS - Green team won. The end! And the overall winner was a green team member; we'd met her there too. She was with 2 friends who were Reds. Then the family too, whom we had equally. I think in total there were 25 of us.
FESTIVAL AFTERNOON
After changing back to normal clothes, we got back in the cars and headed out.
We went to the Newham Waterfront festival by The Royal Docks.
Part of our group went to the wrong water front. Needless to say, they'd be another hour meeting us!
Though it was more of a family event, we had fun and walked around, attempted to hula hoop. R and P were good, her sister, B and myself? Abysmal and so funny in attempt!
Soon the Mc announced the lessons were over. Just as well, I was a tad crap at it.
We walked around some more, checking out the variety of food, from burgers to noodles and all sorts. Starving from all that running around, the five of us had some chips and burgers. Ohh it was so good. Eventually, the lost team came to join us; there were many hilarious versions of why they wound up at the waterfront pool in South East London, than where we were. Enh, we laughed and carried on goofing, taking pictures and checking out the scenery and live music. We found a restaurant and had drinks there.
Here we were, catching up. Another friend who didn't make the event came quickly to give me a card and a gift. It was sweet. She couldn't stay as she had other birthday celebrations to attend. Ah well, at least she came briefly. By six pm, we began to disperse. I was meant to go for a meal at the bride to be S's house. So went to V's to shower and change clothes.
I wanted to wear black, but I was told abruptly by B, P and my lil sis 'it ain't a funeral y'know!' then they proceeded to choose from my bag.
I wore a purple skirt with a print boob tube top in the end.
EVENING SHOCKER
I got to V's and showered, after much fiddling got the hot water going, it made me remember the first year I lived back home without my mum, I was useless at first. It took me ringing international and frantic texts to figure out how to set it. Tale for another day ha.
So I eventually got ready and I left for S's house.
I am usually quick with makeup, but I was scared of being late for the dinner that I thought we were to have, I finished my makeup on the train. I remembered to take the print out I needed to show her, took a fan (much needed! Dancing, you understand) and was on my way. It would take me about 40 minutes to get to hers.
I was excited as I had had an amazing day, I was also contemplative, and in less than 3 hours I’d be a year older. Not just ANY ole year. 30!
We were going to the pub, they were, and I’d meet them after the wedding meeting. I got lost as I walked the same road from the same station I'd been to many times. It's the most annoying thing for me, but it happens, I’ve been there before. So I’m lost why? How? Hehehehe.
Finally I get there. And, just as I was about to express my shock that the girls would be late. As that meant meeting V later than planned. S was saying how only one person had shown up yet. I sighed wryly and I opened the living room door to screams and poppers of SURPRISE! Goodness! I began to cry, I was so shocked, fucking hell!. I cannot believe I didn't see that coming. They got me good!
I mean, it's been a mad year, of funerals, births and marriages. Life i suppose no? To be honest actually, I was already content with Laser earlier. But, the absence of some of the folks made perfect sense. They were busy putting up pictures, arranging snacks and wrapping my presents.
I was moved more than words can ever say, I don't think I’ve done it justice...I have amazing people in my life. FACT! It's a lot, it's a lot for real.
Just when it was all sinking in, dancing and chattering. Some two hours later, S brought out the cake. As if she and the girls didn't already do enough! It was a pink cake, and then she proceeded to rub my face with it. Naturally! It looked like I had on a mask, if I had a boyfriend / husband, I’m sure that'd have been fun for him lol.
I re-did my makeup, and not long after more dancing. About 1 am, V said we were meant to go to a club too. Not everyone could come with. But I still had fun. Once there, a friend from early came to join, as well as P who was in on the whole thing. They all were but me! And I am normally the one who does know it all. Well, S has always promised 'one day we will shock you, watch!'
And as I azontoed and Oliver twisted my way into the fabulous 30 years of age. Many people have been asking all year how I feel about being this age, and my answer is the same as it was in January and last week and three days ago. Alright actually, I don't know how I’m 'supposed' to feel / be. I just know that I am glad there is life in me.
So there it is - surprise party!
ON THE DAY ITSELF
On my actual birthday, after I
After the initial hugs, before my sister could say 'jack sparrow', ma goes, 'did you drink?', then both looked at me. For my part, I said yes, she had one.
Then she goes, 'we'll talk about this later, I see you are practicing for your 18th' I chuckled inside.
We were flat out once in at mum's. So tired, I wanted to sleep but I was too excited, then I saw the cake. It was huge! Eeeek 3rd cake. This was epic!
Mummy dearest baked it - aaaahhhh, I had been teasing my sister at the festival, whether she baked for me. Wow.
I
MISSES
I was sad as my brother and dad were in town from Cologne, only for that night, but we didn't end up meeting. I didn't know anything of my birthday outside of the laser part. Plans did not go accordingly and I missed them. I guess I have to make the trip to Germany hey. Any excuse to travel! #timetobookflights
Pictures coming soon. Kisses and thank you!
Tuesday, 10 September 2013
Unnamed - 3 am 9th April
He said
‘I found the Oya to my Shango’
In ancient times of folklore
She was his wife
Then his mistress, then his mother
So the legend goes
Either way, of these three things
I’m out of. Trinity
I saw in him, greatness
One you see in a loved best friend
Of course
This meant my Oya
Now had no Shango
In my reasoning
I could never be those things
Not mother
Well maybe, just not one
Who births her lover
So the legend goes
Besides, Freud lives no more
Not mistress, that’d be a distress
Wife, I’d consider and add
Lover. In my reasoning
This holds one thing. Mother.
Maybe to the next to come
From between us – a mesh of body, writhing spirits and soul
None of these three I am
In ancient times, when the gods walked the earth
She was his wife, mother, mistress
He said ‘I found the Oya to my Shango’
I turned to see
She was an echo of me
A reverb scratching a screeching noise
Into my conscious
Like Yemoja’s curse, I might die
This restlessness
An echo of me I thought she was
And I hear you
That line was a low blow
I admit I aimed for the jugular in zigzag blows
I looked at this Oya to his Shango
My oya spoke ‘let her go, release them both’
Burning eyes
Tears about to fall
Akin to raging hail stones
Held back as I fled
Into the night
Erzulie beside me
Always there
Saying nothing
‘I found the Oya to my Shango’
In ancient times of folklore
She was his wife
Then his mistress, then his mother
So the legend goes
Either way, of these three things
I’m out of. Trinity
I saw in him, greatness
One you see in a loved best friend
Of course
This meant my Oya
Now had no Shango
In my reasoning
I could never be those things
Not mother
Well maybe, just not one
Who births her lover
So the legend goes
Besides, Freud lives no more
Not mistress, that’d be a distress
Wife, I’d consider and add
Lover. In my reasoning
This holds one thing. Mother.
Maybe to the next to come
From between us – a mesh of body, writhing spirits and soul
None of these three I am
In ancient times, when the gods walked the earth
She was his wife, mother, mistress
He said ‘I found the Oya to my Shango’
I turned to see
She was an echo of me
A reverb scratching a screeching noise
Into my conscious
Like Yemoja’s curse, I might die
This restlessness
An echo of me I thought she was
And I hear you
That line was a low blow
I admit I aimed for the jugular in zigzag blows
I looked at this Oya to his Shango
My oya spoke ‘let her go, release them both’
Burning eyes
Tears about to fall
Akin to raging hail stones
Held back as I fled
Into the night
Erzulie beside me
Always there
Saying nothing
Wednesday, 4 September 2013
So...it's been a minute
So i haven't blogged in a while.
I've been alive. Yep obviously hehehe. And yes still writing, but i am biting the proverbial 'bullet' and adding tiny bits on here.
But, i wanted to come back so i can share stuff in one go.
Also, when i delete fb i can have note to self over here.
So, what have i been up to since 09. Well, we don't have all day. But, i will say it's been interesting a journey the past 4 years.
I have an idea to start a 'what tee wore x day' and one for purple snood.
The site is in progress as we speak! Here's a sneak peak on http://pinterest.com/purplesnood/purple-snood-images/
Not sure how it will work, but it means i will have to post images of me up. I already have enough of that from modeling, I'm not on that at min.
We'll see hey?
What else, i'm working still, different agency but I model now and again as always.
What else, yeah i am single too. So you know, if you know anyone looking for someone fabulous, point them to moi. Ok, that's be a a tad creepy.
Oohhh maybe, i will do one about hair, then again there are so many natural hair blogs now it is ridiculous! I love loads of them though.
My afro as much as i love her (she's a 'she' most days, reminds me of me) i don't feel warrants so much of my words.
I bet you i will eat my words. Once i get carried away!
So yeah, all a work in progress - watch, let's see what happens.
I've been alive. Yep obviously hehehe. And yes still writing, but i am biting the proverbial 'bullet' and adding tiny bits on here.
But, i wanted to come back so i can share stuff in one go.
Also, when i delete fb i can have note to self over here.
So, what have i been up to since 09. Well, we don't have all day. But, i will say it's been interesting a journey the past 4 years.
I have an idea to start a 'what tee wore x day' and one for purple snood.
The site is in progress as we speak! Here's a sneak peak on http://pinterest.com/purplesnood/purple-snood-images/
Not sure how it will work, but it means i will have to post images of me up. I already have enough of that from modeling, I'm not on that at min.
We'll see hey?
What else, i'm working still, different agency but I model now and again as always.
What else, yeah i am single too. So you know, if you know anyone looking for someone fabulous, point them to moi. Ok, that's be a a tad creepy.
Oohhh maybe, i will do one about hair, then again there are so many natural hair blogs now it is ridiculous! I love loads of them though.
My afro as much as i love her (she's a 'she' most days, reminds me of me) i don't feel warrants so much of my words.
I bet you i will eat my words. Once i get carried away!
So yeah, all a work in progress - watch, let's see what happens.
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